BilikFamily.com

MCP humor - Despite really enjoying married and family life, I always get a good chuckle out of marriage humor. I think I inherited it from my dad. These one liners below were forwarded to me today by a friend.

• My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last: Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food, and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
• We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in India and mine is in Canada.
• I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
• I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
• We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
• She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and, electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
• My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."
• My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but boy , can she climb a tree now.
• She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
• She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
• Remember....Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.
• I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
• I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
• The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"...I said, 'Dust!"
• In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
• Why do men die before their wives? Cause they want to.