December 31, 2005
Wrapping up vacation
Friday - Yesterday was kind of a quiet day. In the morning I bought some books from Amazon: 3 almanac style books covering 2005 for Claire and 2 politically incorrect books for me. Abby spent most of the day at her friend Tessa's house and Claire had her friend Shannon over. We took the kids to the YMCA around noon and I took Michelle's step class. She was sub'ing for a different instructor who was sick. Considering Michelle needed a sub on Monday, she was glad to "give something back". On the way back we rewarded the children with Kiddie Coolattas. 
Despite the caffeine I still napped for a bit that afternoon. I got Abby started on the new Frogger we got for Christmas. Michelle and Abby played it for a few hours together while the boys watched. Meanwhile I spent a little more time helping Claire do a school project. She was falling behind on a PowerPoint presentation she was working on in computer class. I've avoided doing her homework for her, but at the same time got some insights into what was tripping her up and told her how to grab pictures from our web photo albums and put them in her presentation. Perhaps later I'll PDF'ify her presentation and put it online.
Abby - Michelle got a challenging question from Abby the other night. I'm not sure if Alyssa and Tom ever faced anything similar since the Tarpey kids go to Catholic schools. Abby asked why we do things like go to church, CCD, confessions, pray before meals and bed, etc. "when none of my friends do". Now part of the questioning is Abby just being Abby taking things to her usual "always, never, forever" extremes. Nearly all of her friends do go to church. They're just different churches and parishes. The question wouldn't be so difficult if it were "why do we do these things?". The emphasis of the question is "why do we do these things (when I don't see anyone else doing them)?" It's hard to answer it in a pastoral, non-judgemental fashion. You have to be careful that she doesn't walk away thinking less of her friends. At the same time, you don't want to water down the importance of what you've been teaching her. In a way it's a bit like when kids whine "but Ashley's parents don't make her do ..." or "but Aiden's parents let him do ..." but in a different form based on one's beliefs. Hmmm....
sometimes it can be helpful to just say "Different families have different ideas about what it important. Part of the job description for mom and dad is that we have the responsibility, before God, to raise you guys right. That is why we have the family rules and activities that we do. We are responsible for what we do, not for what other parents do."
I used to get the question from my kids all the time "Why do we have so many kids in our family? Why are you and dad still married to each other? Why do my friends have step-parents and more than one family to call home?" Of course, we were living in Los Angeles when we raised the majority of our kids......
BTW - Happy New Year!
Posted by: alicia at December 31, 2005 04:51 PMHi Alicia,
Thanks for the voice of experience. Today we got it in a different form from Claire. The girls have friends who've gone with their families on cruises, Disney, Bahamas, etc. but "we _never_ go _anywhere_ cool". Forget that the girls have gone to the Grand Canyon, the Lawrence Welk resorts in California, Legoland, etc. or that their mom is always available at home. The grass is always greener at friends' houses.
Happy New Year to you and your husband!
Posted by: Scott at December 31, 2005 07:09 PMHi Scott and Michelle and family! Ir ead with sympathy the write up about Abby's challenging questions. wow. bet tha was difficult. wouyld love to hear how you handled it. Drew attends a nondenominational schol for preK3 - 123th grade. it would sure be educational for us to be prepared for the same thing. WE have been receiving similar questions this year. Definitely a fine line to cross. Later when I have more time I will browse your site more thoroughly. For now, bye! A very happy new year to all the Biliks and Tarpeys. fondly, mary martinez
Posted by: marymartinez at January 3, 2006 12:21 PM